The Washington Redskins Go Fock Yourself Star Wars Special!

I don't exactly know what it is with J.J.Abrams - or whether it's even really him - but somehow his rejuvenations all turn out to be completely unmemorable, that is, I do remember characters, young Spock for instance, but I can't remember any turn of events. Stuff happens, I might even understand why, but not for a moment while watching his films was I curious about the resolution of the current situation, that is, I didn't even ever had the feeling that something needed to be resolved. How do you do it? How do you communicate that this is now not meant to be gotten involved in?

It's like... Benny Hill. Only instead of wild gesturing it's... wait!... wild mimicking!

There's too much smugness, too much self assertion, you don't think you're in a film, you think you're in the hallway in high school. But you're not. So...

PewDiePie! Look! What a background! Oh, that's a cool weapon right here! Hey, haven't I met you in some other film, way, way back?

Yeah, I guess that's it, Mr. Abrams secret: Have someone instead of you walk into the films you love. If you're into it...

Otherwise watch a real film.

(This review was inspired by South Park #REHASH and #HappyHolograms.)